It's 1.15 in the night. The night before the day I leave on a weekend trip to London.
Realistically speaking, a few weeks ago, I would never have thought of going there. Not that the place doesn't fascinate me. As an art fanatic, I have always found London enchanting regardless of the fact that I have never actually been there. I don't think there is any need for me to get into it, the list names of artists that have come out of London or even significantly stepped foot in it is endless and frankly, a little frightening for someone who has spent the last 12 years of his life in a small Irish town like Galway.
But now...well now something has changed. Because if only a few weeks ago I wasn't even considering going there on a weekend trip, I certainly would never have thought of actually moving there. Well, now that is my ambition.
But why? What has happened?
For quite a while, I have been unsatisfied. I have often thought of turning my life around and used to dream of moving away from Galway. But for now, I would have settled for a post-grad in Film Studies at the Huston School of Digital Media here, and then maybe would have moved to Turin.
Of course then, my music. My dream is to play my music all my life. But with my band Lexington 125 defunct, I was starting to lose hope.
Basically, what I am trying to say is that my life, this summer, approximately around June, had come to a depressing standstill. I, a young and ambitious male with a sincere passion for the arts and an urge to unleash my creativity, was quite frankly giving up hope.
London now is where my life is taking me. I have started listening to my needs, spiritually and physically. I have opened up my senses and put on auto pilot. My feelings have taken over, my sensors tingle with the hope of a new life.
But why IS my life taking me to London? Why do I suddenly feel like I am not born yet and all this time have only been waiting? Waiting for London...
Well, it's not about time or place. It is about a new beginning. In film lingo, this would be called the pre-production. More specifically, I am scouting locations. I am scouting London. I want it to get in my veins, I want it to scar me, I want it to tie me up, I want it to engulf and devour me. I need to die before I am born again.
All the while, I am alone but not alone. Not alone. Or...has love really found its way into my life? Love of life?
London, take me/save me, I am (not) yours...
